


The Paths That Never Cross

by Healiel



Category: Naruto
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-06
Updated: 2012-11-06
Packaged: 2017-11-18 02:54:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/556083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Healiel/pseuds/Healiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The most painful thing he had felt recently was his feelings fading away and trying desperately to say that he was still in love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Paths That Never Cross

**Author's Note:**

> This story takes place near the beginning of the first series. Meaning when Sasuke was still a part of Team Seven.

It took a special kind of idiot to claim that love lasted forever. And it took an even bigger idiot to believe in it.  
A small drop of water fell from the sky. It made him look up. The weather seemed to understand exactly how he was feeling – gloomy and miserable. He was sure it had been sunnier earlier in the day; these clouds had come from nowhere. He shivered slightly as a cold draft came his way. Sasuke started to walk faster; he didn’t want to be caught in a sudden downpour.  
Shit. He sighed as the rain lashed down around him. He slowed down to a lethargic walk; seeing as he was already this wet he thought he might as well enjoy the rain. It wasn’t as if he really wanted to go home right then anyway. He hated that place, it was always empty. He started to walk, he had no idea where he was going, but he would walk. Without any fixed destination in mind, he would walk. He would walk away everything he felt.

* * *

Even a week ago, things had been different. He would look at Naruto from the corner of his eyes when he thought the boy wouldn’t notice. And the crushing weight on his heart was nothing more than a little anxiety – should he tell Naruto? Would things go the way they hoped? He had imagined the scenario in his head so many times. 

_“Naruto?” He would go up to the blonde, and after a dramatic pause, he would say, “We need to talk.”_

_Naruto would look confused at first, but then he would smile – he always smiled at the end. Sasuke was sure Naruto would think it would have something to do with fighting, or new techniques. He might even think Sasuke was inviting him for some practice matches, and he would let him think that. He had even picked out the place where he would confess – it was a small field surrounded by trees he had found one day by accident. It was perfect, he had thought._

_Naruto would be reaffirmed in his beliefs that Sasuke had invited him to train after seeing the field and Sasuke wouldn’t be surprised. He would tell Naruto that this was his secret spot – where he came to train when he didn’t have anything else to do; a place that only he used to know about, until he had invited Naruto.  
And then when Naruto would turn his head towards him, a look of shock on his face, Sasuke would lean in and whisper, “I like you.” _

He had known it was a bad idea and he had known it would never work out. But something inside him had urged him to go on – and he had done just that. At the beginning he had been surprised at how well things were going, Naruto’s reactions were exactly like what he had imagined. But things went wrong near the very end. He still wondered, even now, that whether he should have waited longer before he told the boy. Maybe things would have been different if he had hinted at how he really felt. Maybe then, things wouldn’t have been so awkward.

_“What?”_

Naruto had stared at him when he had confessed, thinking perhaps that he had misheard something. He had smiled after that, but Sasuke knew that that smile meant something else – ‘This is a joke, right?’ Sasuke had felt angry, and slightly humiliated. He knew that forcibly trying to kiss someone could never end well, but he had watched helplessly as his body moved on its own. He had felt that it was the only way he could make Naruto understand what he had meant.

He touched his left cheek. At least the swelling had gone down. That was the only time, the one and only time that he had allowed Naruto to hit him and not retaliated. He wondered if he had wanted to. But right then, he had felt as if his heart had somehow moved up to his head and was threatening to burst there. He had wanted to cry, but he never cried. So he had assumed it was just his mind playing tricks on him. And he could not explain why everything around him had started to fade as he watched Naruto leave the field. He had been convinced for a split second that he was going blind, and the way his heart kept beating made him think it really was going to burst.

It hadn’t been what he had expected, no, it hadn’t been anything like that at all.

* * *

Naruto had never been very good at telling people how he felt. He always did things without thinking. He trusted himself that way – he trusted himself to do the right thing no matter what situation might come up. So why was he feeling so guilty?  
The rain was making him even more depressed. His shoulders were slumped, much the same way as they had been all week. His eyes were squinted – he was thinking, hard. Sasuke had kissed him. He lightly traced a finger over his lips as he felt himself turning red. What had he been thinking? Naruto shook his head wildly as memories of that kiss came back to him. He had reacted by punching Sasuke, but what else was he supposed to do? He had been caught off guard and reacted in the only way he could think of in that split second. And then… his shoulders slumped even more as he remembered how he had been avoiding Sasuke all week. Maybe it was a little harsh to pretend he had stomach problems the moment Sasuke reported for the mission… but it wasn’t his fault! He was confused! What was he supposed to do?  
He was always feeling edgy lately, like he was waiting for something to happen, and not even eating ramen made him happy anymore. He had also begun to look at Sakura differently over the last week, not that he didn’t like her! She was definitely the cutest person he knew! But… he somehow found himself comparing her to Sasuke every time they talked. And then he would always end up thinking that he enjoyed himself with Sasuke more.  
Naruto walked down the streets under the rain, he really wished he could go back to the days when all he had to worry about was showing Sasuke who was the better of the two.  


* * *

Sasuke was convinced that he was cruel. He was cruel to everyone he knew, and he was especially cruel to himself. He was used to being rejected; it was a feeling that had penetrated him right down to his soul the day Itachi left. That was the first time he had truly started to hate himself. And ever since then, it had just gotten stronger and stronger.  
Sasuke valued himself on his pride, and when a part of him kept screaming that he didn’t deserve the things he wanted, he felt like he was being pushed back into the furthest corner of his mind. Right then, he felt like laughing at himself. What had convinced him that things would ‘work out’ with Naruto? Maybe it was because he was so used to getting everything he wanted – girls were always telling him he was attractive. They screamed, vying for his attention. And he had let that get to his head. He had really believed that when so many girls openly declared their attraction towards him, then how could an idiot like Naruto resist his charms?  
Maybe it was because Naruto just didn’t swing that way. Sasuke smirked; he was the idiot for not trying to find out about things like this before confessing. A part of him screamed that he deserved what he got, and for the first time in a long time, he couldn’t help but agree.  


* * *

“Sasu…?” Naruto squinted hard. He could vaguely make out a shape walking ahead of him. It looked like Sasuke. Naruto stopped walking. He felt a sudden urge to turn around and run – he just was not ready to deal with the complicated emotions that ran rampant through every inch of his body the moment he found himself anywhere near Sasuke.  
But… he was curious. Where was Sasuke going? He looked like he was leaving Konoha. Naruto remembered where this path led – down to the field where Sasuke had recently left him speechless. Naruto took one step forward, and then another.  
What was he doing? Was he following Sasuke? He didn’t know why, but he was curious. He was so curious. Why was Sasuke going to that place in this rain?  


* * *

Sasuke could hear footsteps following him. He sighed. If that idiot Naruto wanted to follow him, and not reveal himself, then the least he could do was make an attempt to hide his annoyingly loud footsteps.  
He could feel a sneeze coming, and he wasn’t surprised. He was absolutely drenched at that point of time, and the only thing he could think of that he wanted to do was to go back to that field. He hoped that training would make him feel better. He felt as if he was rotting from the inside. The scariest feeling when it came to love, he had come to learn, was not being rejected by the person you loved, but watching that love slowly die. Watching helplessly as it withered away inside you. It brought in its wake terrible feelings, terrible thoughts. Sasuke had begun to question himself – had he really been in love with Naruto? Or had it just been him mistaking their bond for something it wasn’t?  
He wanted answers. He wanted to look at Naruto and not feel repulsed. He wanted to love him, or to hate him, he didn’t want him to be a reminder of that part of himself that disgusted him the most. Sasuke picked up his pace, hoping that Naruto would stop following him. He hoped that for once, the blonde did what he wanted him to.  


* * *

Naruto frowned as he saw that Sasuke had started to move faster – was he trying to outrun him? Naruto grinned, that would be a stupid move seeing as Naruto knew exactly where he was going. Despite himself, he started to feel energetic. Hah! If stupid Sasuke wanted to move on ahead, Naruto would let him. He made a point of not running faster. It would be more fun to surprise him at any rate.  
He frowned as Sasuke disappeared from the horizon. He was… happy? He was happy to be following Sasuke? He realized he wasn’t feeling strange anymore. He wondered if the reason he had been feeling miserable was because he was staying away from Sasuke instead of Sasuke being the reason for his misery. He shook his head; he wasn’t very good at thinking too much about feelings. But now he had a new reason to follow Sasuke – he had seen a faint silver lining in that dark evening, maybe, just maybe, he could look his friend in the face again.  


* * *

Sasuke felt his shoulders relax as he stopped being able to sense Naruto anywhere near him. He hoped the boy had just given up and gone home. He hoped Naruto was still disgusted with him, no he wanted that. Then he could be disgusted with Naruto too.  
He had been slowly falling in love with the boy for months. He still remembered the strange dream that had first made him think about Naruto as a romantic interest, he had been disgusted when he had woken up. Of all the people he knew, he managed to have a lovey-dovey dream about Naruto?  
He had been especially rude to the boy that day. And by the time the evening had rolled around, Naruto had looked just plain miserable. Even Sakura had stopped him to ask if he was feeling alright, had Naruto done something to him? Damn right he had. Who had given that idiot permission to invade his dreams? But at the same time, he couldn’t help but admit that he had felt a small pang of something he later realized was pain when he had looked at Naruto, who was trying desperately to smile at him. He had wondered then for the first time, had Naruto always tried to be that strong?  
Sasuke felt his fingers clench to form a fist. He raised that hand in the air and brought it crashing down on the ground as he dropped to his knees. That stupid Naruto! How dare he reject him? How dare he ignore him? Didn’t he know how Sasuke felt every time he turned away? Did he enjoy being cruel to him? Sasuke was sorry, he was sorry that he’d ever hurt Naruto’s feelings. He was sorry if he was the reason Naruto ever had to cry – and he was angry at the mess that boy had turned him into. Uchiha Sasuke didn’t cry over lost feelings, he didn’t cry because he couldn’t understand how he felt. And he didn’t cry because he knew that he could never go back to loving Naruto. He still hoped that Naruto would tell him he cared, but he knew it was only so that he could hurt the boy the same way he himself had been hurt. What part of this disgusting mess was love!?  


* * *

Naruto stopped in his tracks when he saw the distant figure sitting on the ground. Sasuke’s head was down, but from where Naruto stood, he could tell that Sasuke was probably crying. It seemed so strange, Naruto thought, that Sasuke could cry too. He had thought it was impossible for that boy to do that. And that was when Naruto realized, could Sasuke have been crying over what he had done?  
He felt guilty, far too guilty. He didn’t want his friend to cry. He felt himself walking towards the boy, a hand reaching out. He didn’t know what he was doing. He opened his mouth to call out his name, but his voice was caught in his throat. If he went to comfort Sasuke right then, what would that imply about their relationship? Would it mean that they were friends, or something more? Naruto wondered why he didn’t find the idea of being more than friends disgusting. He had never really found it disgusting. Sasuke had always been more than a friend to him, the bond they shared was far too strong to be called simple friendship. He knew that. But he also knew that what he felt for Sasuke was different from what he felt for Sakura. So why couldn’t he stop himself from walking towards the boy?  
Suddenly, the figure moved. And before Naruto could react, Sasuke had started to run.  
“Sasuke! Wait!” He called out after the boy as he started running as well. A million thoughts ran through his head as he followed his friend, but he ignored them all. Right then, there was only one thing that was important, and that was to help Sasuke.  


* * *

Sasuke ran as fast as he could. Damn it! That idiot had seen him in that embarrassing position. He felt the tears slide down his face, but he ignored them. He felt the rain washing them away. Why couldn’t the rain wash away his feelings as well? He would feel so alive if it did.  
He couldn’t understand why Naruto was following him, and the same words resonated through his mind – “It’s too late.” He shook his head; maybe Naruto wasn’t even following him over something like that. Maybe he wanted to properly reject Sasuke, maybe he wanted to apologize for punching him and say they were better off being friends. There could be a million possibilities, so why was it that the one he wanted the most was for that boy to come up to him, and tell him, “Me too.”  
He shivered as that familiar feeling of revulsion swept through him again. No, it really was too late. Once he wanted to hurt the person he claimed to ‘love’, how could he call it love anymore? Things could never be what they might have been now.  
He really was unlucky, he could feel his lips curving into a smile; he never ever got what he really wanted. Sasuke looked up; he could see the clearing now, the small path that he had been following started to get wider and wider. The clearing was appearing. Memories of what had happened on that day a week before flowed through his mind as he stumbled into the small field, his eyes barely noticing the conspicuous absence of grass near the entrance.  


* * *

Naruto stopped where the path started to widen.  
He had been coming to this place everyday since Sasuke had confessed to him. He wanted to go into that field, but he never could. So he would sit near the entrance and absentmindedly pull at the grass that lined it. He watched as Sasuke lay sprawled on the ground in front of him. He thought it was pitiful, but at the same time he felt happy.  
He had never had anyone say they loved him. So he never knew how to react. He was happy because Sasuke cared so much about him, but he was sad because he had hurt the only person he knew of who felt so strongly about him.  
For the first time that week, he regretted punching Sasuke. There were so many other things he could have done; things that might not have affected Sasuke so badly. He regretted ignoring his best friend. Especially since he knew what it was like to feel ostracized. That was probably the cruelest thing he could have done to someone.  
He still wasn’t sure of his feelings – but now he felt conflicted. The thought of being with Sasuke didn’t feel so wrong to him anymore. Maybe he could do it? He did love that boy. Maybe that love could become something stronger? He took another step towards Sasuke, willing himself to move into that field.  
And when he finally placed one foot onto that clearing, Uzumaki Naruto realized that there was a future in front of him where he never had to feel lonely again. He would help Sasuke up, and tell him that he was deeply sorry about everything he had done. He knew that he would end up smiling like an idiot, but then he would say something like, “Sasuke, I like you too.” But he would have to clarify certain things too, so he would say, “But I don’t know what this kind of ‘like’ this is. So… Ah! Forget about it. Let’s go eat something.” He stopped thinking as he heard his stomach rumble. Finally! He was grinning, he had missed this feeling!  
Uchiha Sasuke, just you wait! Naruto walked into the clearing, feeling content for the first time in a long time.

* * *

Sasuke heard footsteps and slowly turned his head. His eyes were red, and he felt that he was ready to collapse. He couldn’t move anymore. But he tried to stand up; he didn’t want Naruto to come near him. He didn’t want to hear what that boy had to tell him. He was scared of how he would reply. A small part of him still hoped that Naruto would tell him that he loved him, but he knew that that he no longer loved the boy.  
That feeling had slowly but painfully disappeared over the week. Every time Naruto did something that hurt him, he could feel a small part of that die inside him. And every time that happened, he would stare on helplessly, trying to cling on to that feeling that had made him happy for a few small months and watch as he twisted it into something unrecognizable.  
Naruto was standing in front of him now, his head was down. Sasuke couldn’t make out his expression behind the harsh blanket of rain. But he could tell that Naruto was shivering. Was it that cold? He realized he was shivering too, how long had he been doing that?  
“Sasuke…” Naruto had started to speak.  
Don’t. Sasuke screamed inside his head, begging Naruto to not talk. He didn’t want to watch himself ruin what he wanted. He didn’t want the twisted part of him to ruin things for him. He didn’t want to admit that his love was gone. Love was supposed to last forever. He raised his head to look at Naruto, so why was it that it had disappeared for him. Why is it that all he felt was apathy?  
“Sasuke, I think I like you too.” Naruto started to say.  
Sasuke felt his heart clench, and his eyes flew wide open. He wanted to scream, he wanted to scream at himself to try. Try to feel how he had felt a week back. He wanted to force those feelings back, he had for the first time in his life, got what he had wanted. So why couldn’t he smile?  
All he wanted to say was, “I love you.” But he didn’t say anything. He simply stood up, and left. He never once turned back to see what Naruto was doing. Did he look shocked? He wanted to know. But he couldn’t make himself turn; he would never be able to go back to that time again.

* * *


End file.
